When it takes over

//A few things to note before reading

  1. This was written on my Iphone, read and typed up in a solo roleplay in #Holodeck-2 on the discord.
    meaning that the capitalization is garbage and it isn’t as nice as i’d like it, But I don’t wanna transfer it to my PC because theres notes taken every sentence and i’d have to wipe those, so this works for now ^^;

Drem entered the holodeck, Stepping inside… An ocean… just a deep ocean…
She began to drift in the waters, Of course she wouldn’t drown or run out of oxygen…
Her body slowly floated toward the endless depths of the sea… She did this to clear her mind… it was a way of meditation…
Some said this was odd, some thought it was interesting…
But she couldn’t help it… it was peaceful, she loved the feeling of falling deeper… Deeper into the unknown…
She always had a profound interest in things like these things thought of as odd…
She looks up and what she sees is the blue… she can just barely see the surface… by now she was 20… maybe 40 feet deep in the simulation
It was slightly blurred… And soon, she drifted
into even the darkest of the ocean… She couldn’t tell time at the current moment…
by now, everything was dark… the area was so dark…
and yet… she loved it…
her eyes closed… the calm reality.

No sound… No sight… No smell, no touch… it was all numb… her mind clear…
she could tell in some ways, this could be bad… the constant of going down… but she brushed those aside…
She was safe…
comfortable… numb… she let go of her own body, and slowly drifted through the unknown…
the sudden small voice popped in her head, fogging the clearness “Hello drem.” To which she ignored…
to her best.
After short time of ignoring it, the voice finally goes away…
Sadly, It was all too good to be true… not even a god could achieve that true peace she strived for… this was the most she’d get… But thats fine,
right? As long as its just in her dreams…

The girl sighed… Small, insignificant air bubbles floating toward the surface…
They would die off before they even got there…
The pressure should be killing her, but its not the real ocean… Sometimes, her voices would tell her death would achieve true peace, and she knew that couldn’t be true…
Right?
Drem wipes her thoughts… She could not drift herself away like that.
even though little of her mind drifted to think like that, she tried not to…
sometimes she wished she could do more…
She wanted to help, stop things from happening, but that would never be possible… But, she could acquire it in her dreams…
Her brain always tried to fool her, trying to have important meanings
and privileges…
There were complicated words that tried to make fun of her… All things, side by side…
she remembered someone telling her something as a kid… she didn’t remember who… 'Are you an idiot?
Well even an idiot could put meaningful words side by side…

But as always, you use theories and excuses as your voice… Not knowing what it means.'
Did she tell that to herself?
She didn’t know.
From the end
of one day to the start of a next, just who exactly standed important in her life… who she could trust… There was lance… She could trust her parents…
But like a fool, she wipes her thoughts again… not wanting
to be plagued again with thoughts of those…
Acting like she could do anything, she could use a PADD to find out where she was going in life…
That was all another stupid dream of her mind…
Like trying to
cheat on a test.
Somehow, it never seemed like the place she would want to belong.
This idiotic, thoughtless person who’s been shown to her in a mirror… Just who is it…

With her own logic in this universe,
she was alone again… Jealousy was standing in her heart.
And yes, even she was trying her hardest… She wanted these thoughts to mind there own business…
In this submissive society, There was one rule that
stood
Just to her alone
It was to be obedient.
Again, they criticize me, snark remarks in a patronizing method.(edited)
every single one of them, there all were just enemies, firing rapidly…
Drem put her acts up,
acting happily, normally…
Nobody except few knew her like this…
If someone read her mind, she wouldn’t be able to even explain…
Her brain again, tries to fool her… An idiot, you can still choose understandable
words and meanings…

Is there anyone who could save her?
She just needed someone to save tomorrow and make it fresh for her…
She tried to reach out… for anyone… Anything!
But then… She tried again…
wipe those thoughts…
Only pleasant feelings can be obtained from cheating to get to the real tomorrow…
We are all fine things, Aren’t we?
She lifelessly chuckled to herself… No emotion…
'My existence
would be like air, even if i’m not here, not even three major things change…‘
Isn’t it sad? That she’s not even there? How many noticed?
This shaken and broken universe… It stabs her in the heart, a pain easily
reaching…
Jealousy still… pain in her heart.
Weird memories…? Odd behavior?
Maybe the past was good?’ It was such a lie she told herself.
“Because you know…I do my best to be normal, I try hard enough, right?”
Well…
That was a lie as well.
But of course… Its all ok as long as its just her dreams…
Alright… That was enough…
Drem couldn’t handle any more on her mind… It was going to tear her apart…

She had weakly taken herself outof the holodeck…
These sessions drained her, but in a good way… She was able to vent to herself, and nobody would ever know.
She hoped that nobody would ever know.
This was her mind… it was covered, She’d hope nobody ever was able to break that shield…
She wouldn’t even let people like lance help… And she loved him… He was the closest a person ever got to her.
As drem packed up, she put a quiet and peaceful smile on, and left the doors of the holodeck…