Poetry: Given Up

Tears well up behind my eyes,
But they won’t fall.

The pain fills my mind,
I fear I will burst,
Spilling shards of pain, blood, and tears into the world.

I ask why, but I know.
I ask how, but I know.
I ask when, but it doesn’t matter.
They answers never come,
I know if they did, it wouldn’t matter.

Nothing matters now. There is only darkness.
I am lost in the sea behind my eyes.
Waves of pain and guilt wash over me,
I am blind to the world.

I cannot see and pain is all I can feel.
Pain ferments like grain into despair,
It seeps into my blood, into my bones like a cancer.

I am powerless.
I am defective.
I am broken.
I am worthless.

It is over.