Greetings, future servants!
My name is Saria, and I am the future ruler of these forums.
I realize that my eventual domination might seem a little unlikely, given that I have just joined, but I assure you: my conquest is inevitable! One day soon, I shall crush all the moderators and leaders of these forums, and usurp their power! Those who do not bow before me shall be crushed beneath my boots! All will tremble before me, Saria, ruler of all she surveys! Mwahahaha!
But for now, I must bide my time. I must wait for my chance to seize power. Therefore, I shall disguise myself as one you rabble, and engage in this peculiar form of horseplay you find so appealing. Oh, what the deuce was it you kids are into these days? Ah, yes. This… “roleplaying” thing.
I have… “roleplayed”… for many a year now. Perhaps 7 or 8 of them, even. I remember the blissful days of a bygone era on a different forum… which I may not have completely finished conquering, but not for lack of trying. Anyway, let’s not dwell on the failed conquerings of the past. This time will be different!
Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes.
I consider myself exceedingly experienced in the art of – oh, what the devil was it called again? ah yes – roleplaying. I have studied the theories behind it, and even experimented with the modifications to the formula: for example, roleplays with peculiar mechanics like “hidden partner” roleplays.
My preferred format is original setting, hard science fiction roleplays. I always use original characters, I (almost) never reuse characters. Or settings for that matter. I love world-building, and character-building, so I like to start fresh with each new game. I especially love really digging deep into a setting or a character, sussing out all of their quirks and possibilities, and playing challenging, complex, adult scenarios. (Note that when I say “adult”, I don’t mean pornographic. I just mean stories, settings, and themes with conceptual maturity beyond the scope of a thirteen year-old’s ken.) And I just love writing sensuous (and sometimes sensual!) descriptions of scenes and actions, and really immersing myself and my partners in the story so much that it feels almost like we’re living it ourselves.
But for all that, I am an incredibly easy-going partner. As much as I love to go to into fantastic detail in a setting and scene, I don’t expect my partner to do the same. I don’t expect anything from my partners, except that they communicate with me what they want out of the game, so that I can give it to them.
I promise you that I’m not intimidating! (This would be where I say I don’t bite, but… yeah, I totally do.) It’s perfectly cool to send me a message just out of curiosity, maybe to discuss a possible game, or just to say hi. Just be warned: I am really, really weird!
And before you ask where I got the nickname “Thumper”… that’s classified information!
There, that should be enough to lull the moderators of these forums into lowering their guard. And soon… soon, my future slaves… I will spring into action, and strike like a serpent that has swallowed a tightly wound spring – which sounds both hilarious and a little disturbing; a perfect analogy for my own coup d’état.