To those on the server recently, this is the poem I had been looking for and couldn’t find a copy of. Written in 2015 after a submissive had left me for someone else unexpectedly.
I miss you so much it hurts.
My breath catches as the thought of your name.
The memory of your smile on your face.
The feel of your touch floods my senses from the past.
I feel the pressure on my chest.
Missing you. Wanting you.
I will suffocate without you.
Take a breath.
Feel the air fill my chest.
I’m not dying. I’m not suffocating.
It’s an illusion, brought on by the raw pain.
I hold the pain close to me.
Ignite it. Burn it. Transform it.
The pain makes me feel alive.
A thousand burning fires.
Reminds me what it’s like to feel.
I need my pain.
Hot coals. Always burning.
The pain defines me.
Wear it like a badge.
A reminder, this isn’t hopeless.
It cools the heat in my soul.
Allows me to focus.
Stokes the fires of my heart.
Coals burning from pain heat my soul.
Pain turns to heat
Heat turns to passion.
I earned the pain.
It is mine.
It is part of me.
The coals of old pain will keep me warm.
Fuel my passion. Feed my strength.