Digging Into the Medieval Man's Madness (Vin/Kitara)

There is an RP that went on on the Blazing Umbra Discord about a fight between Vin and Four, one of Cyro’s (Player not IG character) newest seven subjects added into the RP. This RP takes place right after the fight ended

Vin gets beamed into his quarters and decides he still needs time to let his mind settle. He was unsure if it ever would settle on its own, because right now, his room is the only thing that brings him peace. He has no idea why it does, but it just does. Vin takes off his armor and katana belt, and throws them to the corner. He turns on his communicator once more

“Put my katanas and armor in storage… and don’t bring them back out, not even if I say so in the future”

Vin’s armor and katanas then get beamed away to god knows where the data storage is. Vin is now stuck in his royalty clothing, and will stay in it for a long time, considering the request he made. Vin sits down on the side of his bed, and puts his elbows on his legs, puts his hands together, and ponders… alone and away. He would be a shut in in his room until someone randomly came to talk

A knock can suddenly be heard from the door

Vin stayed still when he heard the knock, and stayed still, quickly pondering in his mind on whether or not to open it. However, after a while, he stood up and walked over to the door. Throughout his short journey to there, he kept his head diagonally facing the ground, not wanting to look up, even if the room had brought him leace. His pondering and silence is making him unsure on whether to look anyone in the eye. Though once he reaches the door, he opens it and barely tilts his head up to see who it was… It was Kitara. He stayed still and only let out a quiet

“Kitara… What brings you here?”

Even though he knew damn well why she was here. He didn’t even know why he said it instead of being blunt, he just did

“I came to talk, mostly to, clear up something regarding your recent episode so I can assign you either the sentence OR help you need.” Kitara says

Vin stays silent, before speaking up, while at the same time walking back to his bed

“Come in” is all he says, going back and sitting at the same spot on his bed while leaving his door open, and hunching over. He leaves his arms flat on his legs and wats for Kitara to speak up. He doesn’t face her, nor does he do anything really. There’s a desk with a chair that Kitara can sit on. Vin’s in his royalty clothing, it being somewhat dirty, like clothes someone wore for two days in a row. It was his only set of clothing, but he washed it nearly every day, so it was odd for him to have it like this.

Kitara would also notice that there was a giant piece of skin ripped off on his right cheek. The wound looked like a burn mark, but the way the skin was damages was as if it was ripped off

“Ok… First I want you to explain what happened from your end. I wanna really understand what going on with you.” Kitara says in a very concerned tone

“I’m going mad. I haven’t been like this for long, and I was only like this once back on my planet. But I’ve been having flashbacks, flashbacks of the war I was in… I have had my meditation sessions interrupted a couple of times, but those couple of times were enough to break me. Whenever I’m alone I think of nothing but the kinds of thoughts that would drive any one man to madness, and it’s only with others that my mind is kept stable. Either that or I stay in my room, like I was before you got here…”

At this point Vin isn’t talking in his usual well-spoken manor, and just talks plainly

"Before I fought Four, I took all my frustration out on a simulation… to the point where I had steam coming off of me. I usually never get that mad or go that crazy but I did. And on my way back to wherever I ran into Four and talked with him for a while. And once the conversation was over, there was nowhere else to head but my room, and I had planned to keep myself out of my room and train my mind to be stable… I knew I wouldn’t last by myself, so I did a last ditch effort and challenged him to a spar. I thought that I could be stable throughout it since all my fristration was already taken out on a simulation, but I was wrong. I snapped, and had murderous intenet on Four… thinking he was someone I had the same intentions for back on my planet during my war…“
Vin places his hand on his face and cups his right cheek, Kitara not being able to see the wound from her angle at the desk but still knowing what Vin was doing since she already saw the wound
"And caused this wound… I beamed myself back to my room and I decided that I wasn’t ready to leave my room. I was planning on staying here until I was absolutely sure I could leave, but here you are only moments later”

Kitara nods and says “and what’s that burn mark?”

Vin simply sighs as he continues “When I snapped I attacked him with mor force in my telekinesis than usual, so the drawback damage was more than what it normally would be…”

He pauses, as Kitara would notice tears flowing from his eyes, yet he stays still, and doesn’t wipe them off either “I’m a god damn disgrace of a soldier”

Kitara stops and trys to see if she can sense any aura still learning about here own abilites in terms of magic befor saying “Your not a disgrace. This is the risk we all take when we all go out there. We are soldiers not emotionless robots. No matter how much we try to pretent we all have our limits. The important part is to know when you hit that limit and responed accourdenly… in this case you need help”

"I definately need help. This wasn’t something I was able to solve by myself back on my planet, but it seems with this place I’ve run into a problem. Back on my planet I had become majordomo because I had a goal to end that war and bring peace to my kingdom. It happened, and I had achieved what i strived for for nearly all my life. But then I end up here, and…"
Vin pauses himself as he tries to prevent himself from crying out loud like a baby. He didn’t allow himself to cry as a soldier, yet here he is, no matter how much he’s resisting. He had to continue though, so he did, but as he spoke, his tears began to flow more and more as he spoke, as he lost resistance over being able to speak
"There is no peace here… It’s battle after battle after battle here. I need time to recooperate between everything, meditation or any method calming myself down really. And 2 times in a row it’s been interrupted by something that almost did or DID cause a fight. And everytime I meditate… it’s for a huge reason. And when I tried after all of that… I couldn’t… I had flashbacks of the war I was in… and all I could do was retreat to here, since this place was all I could be that brought me lonsome peace. But now since the fight in the holodeck… I don’t even know if I’m stable to leave here anymore… Kitara…“
At this point Vin has lost nearly all control of his emotions, whether it be holding back his tears or allowing himself to speak up
"Please… help me…”

“Look first you have understood simply ignoring your emotions isn’t controlling them you just putting it off till later and you eventually snap. It ok to cry, it’s ok to feel mornfull.fpr fallen comrades, it ok to be afraid.” Kitara says to Vin

Vin had nothing to say, she was absolutely right. Vin had followed the soldier’s code of not letting emotions get in the way of any fights, of not letting anyone put you in the way of the lin of duty. That’s he became Majordomo of his Militia after all. But still, he DID feel mourneful for all of the soldiers that died after a battle and at their funerals. He felt especially mournful over two of his squadron leaders, Thomas D’Amen and Maleki Evans.

He did have emotions, but the matter of the fact was that he let them take complete control over him, whether he had control over that happening or not. Was he really fit to be s soldier, let alone a Majordomo if he’s broken this easily this quickly? Was he really worthy of wearing that golden badge on his armor if this is him after two meditations interrupted, even if he needed those meditations the most? He didn’t know

“You can’t controll your emotions if you are to afraid to understand them. To relefect on your self and understand WHY you are still pushing forward.” Kitara says

“I’m pushing forward for my kingdom…” Vin does a gasp out of his sobbing then following onward with his sentence “For my people… After what happened during the war I was in, I never wanted something as tragic and horrifying as that to happen again, so I made sure my time as Majordomo would prevent something like that from happening a second time. I never wanted my mother to endure something as cruel as that war, so I became a soldier…”

Vin pauses for a bit and thinks about what he just said before continuing “Maybe I’m like this… because there’s nothing of my kingdom to protect here. Who knows at this point…”

“Perhaps… but don’t you care about us as well. After what we have been through?” Kitara askes

“Yes, yes I do care about all of you, after all of what’s been going on here…” Vin’s tears begin to stay in their current state, still flowing but not as hard as before “I said that wrong… I guess I have no idea why I’m like this, my mind is just going everywhere right now…” Vin puts his hands over his face and covers it up as he continues to sob

Kitara slowly walks over to him and wraps her arms around him in a hug

Vin didn’t see the hug coming, but only continued for a couple of more seconds before he takes his hands off of his face and wraps his arms around Kitara, hugging her as well without saying a word. He only sobs more as he rests his head on her shoulder, but Kitara could tell that in his mind, he’s telling her “Thank you Kitara” over and over

Kitara purs a little to relax Vin and just lets him hug for as long as he neees