A certain orphan's pain

It had been a day or two since the news about the loss of Lance had reached Indra and the rest of the Tekkadan boy. It had hit the group hard, not so long ago had the finally broken out of their shells and finally joined up with ST as its own little mobile suit division, it made them happy to finally have another boss to work under and not just sit around, working on Mobile suits and shit but sadly that boss was ripped away from them in an instant. It hit Indra the hardest, he blamed himself for the loss of lance and not being able to protect him…he had made a promise he’d give his all to protect his higher ups even if it meant dying. It wasn’t like last time with Amber where he could jump in front and take the bullets for her, no this time the ship went down and he couldn’t do shit, not a single fucking thing…he hated it, it made him mad, and for the first time in forever it made him feel useless. He was lost and broken…he didn’t know what to do. until he remember, two people he could possibly talk to…two people who could help. Amber and Suzanne…the woman he had taken seven rounds for and the woman he had helped deal with the STALKER chicks.

“aki…clear the hangar for now…just chill in the shinko” He said as he opened the hatch to barbatos and looked over his men, he didn’t want them to see him in this state or see him do what he was about to do. Aki didn’t even talk back as he told everyone to go back into the shinko and wait for further instructions, once everyone had gone back inside aki nodded and raised the ramp. Indra then sighed as he sent a message to both Amber and Suzanne, he didn’t care which came just as long as one did. He asked them for help, for aid in his predicament and that he was lost and didn’t know who else to turn to. He finished off his message with “a certain orphan”

While Suzanne would jump at the chance, it was actually Amber who showed up first. She didn’t respond but she kinda liked the kid, I mean, as much as a person could like someone that crass and trying that hard to not be liked. So she shows up in the bay, she’s in her normal civvies now, a knee length black dress, just a simple sun-dress style well… Not so simple, it was a nice garment and well tailored to her but, simple for her. Her hair was up but not done-up, just out of her way, and she wore flats as she walked into the bay; “You rang?” she said smiling at him, “What do you need?”

Indra looked up from his spot in barbatos and waved at Amber
“yeah I did…thanks for showing up…honestly expected that advocate to show up first…because ya know…orphan soldier”
he says with a faked chuckle as he looked down at his arm and sighed
“what i need…is help…”

“I think she’s planet-side, I can get her if you’d like?” she smiles and pulls up a crate or something to sit on, she goes to sit down and has to remember to sit more lady like than she does in uniform, given she’s wearing a dress and not paths. “What do you need help with?”

“No no…no need for her if she’s busy and all…plus your here so again no need for her”

He said with a faked chuckled as he looked down again

“I’m sure you heard about the admirals death…

Amber looks very sad, she didn’t know the man well but she had met him several times. He had a reputation of being, well, a badass. Part of her had wanted to know him better; in more ways than one, but now those thoughts seemed disrespectful to both him and the woman he left behind, Drem, and so they wen’t unvoiced. She nods, “Of course. I wasn’t aware that you knew him?”

“He was my boss…I trusted him the most”

He said as he gritted his teeth and slammed his hand against the interior of barbatos cockpit
“Now he’s fucking dead! He’s dead and I couldn’t do shit to help! I failed damnit!”

“What would you have done?” she asks him in a kind voice, “I mean, what did you fail to do, specifically?”

“I was supposed to protect him damnit! I failed! Failed like the stupid space rat I am!”

“If you failed, tell me what you should have done?” she asks simply to him, not angry but also not lovey-dovey, just… Asking.

he pounds his hand against the cockpit walls again
“i shouldve gone out there! is shouldve tried to slow the ship down with barbatos or something! Just like that damn nightmare keeps showing me!”

She waits and then says, “You’re a soldier, how would you stop a ship going at near-lightspeed?” she asks quietly, “I mean, without being destroyed yourself in the impact?”

“I’d gladly give up my life to save his…barbatos would’ve been able to do something…hold the ship back…slow it down I don’t know…”

She waits for him and then says, nodding, “Look Indra, do you think Lance would have wanted you to die for him, or would he tried to make sure that you were safe?”

“Isn’t it a bosses job to make sure their men stay safe…I know that Amber…it’s just it doesn’t sit right with me…

“It doesn’t sit right with any of us, but it wasn’t your fault. Anything that ship hit it would have torn through, and I think you know that. The Admiral would have wanted you safe to carry the standard without him. IF you trusted him more than anyone else, you have to trust him in that too, don’t you?”

“I don’t think he would’ve wanted me to carry the standard amber…I’m just the space rat used for the tougher jobs…

“Would you like to know how he found me?” She asks quietly of him, looking up, “Well, he didn’t find me himself, but one of his Operatives did. I was a runaway, selling myself to anyone who would pay me, let them do whatever they wanted to me.” she looks at him as she talks of it, the tone of voice says both her regret and a hint of pride at having made it through it. “If he would let a lost little whore carry the standard, why not you? You do know what the Oath of Service says, don’t you?”

He stared at her and listened. To think someone Iike her used to sell herself for money…it confused him

“You used to be a runaway that sold you body for money…”

He asked as he jumped down from barbatos, the cables from the cockpit dragging along as he walked towards her “I can’t read amber…not too well at least…”

“It seemed easier than facing my parents, I’d been gone for years and I was sure they didn’t want me back.” she smiles at him though, “Part of the oath says; I will stand tall and not waver as if all those who have come before me were standing at my back.” and she gets up and approaches him, if she can she’d get close enough to be face-to-face, if not then she still gets close as she can, “So now, like the rest of us, you have him at your back. All you have to do is stand tall knowing he’s there.”